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My friend had made a cool ten million naira, supplying branded exercise books and pencils to all the schools in his local government area. His buddy had been the special assistant to the local government chairman and had hooked him up on that juicy deal. He had told me of another mutual friend that was hobnobbing with some powers that be, frolicking with the top guys,caressing the high and mighty, armed with proposals and quotations to renovate, re-roof and paint all the secondary schools in his local government. He stood to make seventeen million if the deal sailed through.

Branded books and pencils!!!… Painted blocks and renovated schools…..Yes!!! …..that is, surprisingly where we had gotten ourselves to. I had gone ahead and listened and picked at my friends mindset for another twenty- five minutes, all I could discern was more ways to perfecting their money making stints. I had sat there, very sad at that time, knowing that this was an exact reflection of mindsets among a majority of my friends’ in the corridors of power.

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These series were born out of my sordid reflections of what might have been had we the right minded youths in place. I ponder on what would have been if we also had energized and vibrantly inclined youths who were capable of pushing sustainable goals for the future. I have wondered aloud if a day would come when my mates, my peers, my class mates and my friends would grace the corridors of power and make the necessary input required of them

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The previous night had been full of tense moments. Penning a love letter in those days was quite heart wrenching. There was an art behind the craft. The intro was about everything. It was this intro that the girl in question showed off to her friends. One could access the impact by looking at the facial expression of her friends and also by the size of the gaping mouths and covered lips as "My one and only", "My sweetheart"or "Sugar" were read among budding heads. If you missed on this "love catcher", you would have missed on a one in a lifetime chance. Then comes the part that gave a bit of high blood pressures, the body of letter. This was the part that most of us consulted "oxfords dictionary"or the less imposing "New English dictionary" . This was the part that either made you or broke you. You had a dire choice of keeping it simple or going for the overkill, whence you chose words for sole purpose of overwhelming reader ."Flabbergasted by your beauty","bamboozled by your love","bedazzled by your beauty" were commoners around here...

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Papa Nicholas would then lower the bicycle to an angle for Mama Chibu to mount while they drove off. Other times, Papa Nicholas would start the ride, albeit slowly for Mama Chibu , who would then do a two step maneuver to hop on carriage. The companies that built those bicycles those days even recognized the differences in build and expectations. Papa Chibu's everyday bicycle "Igwe nwoke" was quite different from the white horse bicycle that was feminine by design. The metal bar that ran from the crow in the handles to the pit beneath the seat was the defining difference. This difference meant for a different way of mounting bike. It was also very hard to ride this bicycle for mere presence of this bar. This was a bicycle for Men. It was uncommon to see girls that rode these bicycles. The ones that eventually did were either tomboyish or physically strong like the boys. I remember when pending errands would lay unattended because the only available bicycle was the "Mens". Girls were discouraged though not absolutely but my today assessments would pinpoint reasons to be the flaw in mounting processes and the expose it portended to bring.

"Ikuku buo, Ahu Ike Okuko" an adage that says " when the wind blows, the anus of the fowl is exposed" probably was the guiding principle in those decisions that unofficially discouraged the girls from riding this "Men" bicycle

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The crowd around were quite surprised to learn that both were intended to get married in a fortnight. Majority of the ladies in the crowd were nudging her to give Martin the crown to see and have a proper feel at least, others were berating her for being selfish, a tiny few were on the fence.... they did not care less what came off this .The men were all for Martin. I heard the worst of arguments . " but who bought the drink ?" some asked, "whoever bought the drink owned the car"...another said, "Why would she register the car in her name?", "weren't they going to be husband and wife?", " The guy paid for the whole wedding and then this?"...an angry cyclist said while storming off..

It was a whole back and forth as Martin fiance refused to bulge. She had refused to show Martin the crown in it's full glare. She had maintained the sneak stance and had taken Martin aback when she gave the final sentence " I will register car in my name first"....then you can have it...she had chipped in just as she put away the crown in the deepest part of purse.

The fight had started.

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I had my lines rehearsed as I walked into this flagship store, I also had a wonderful mannerism like someone that already knew all the crevices of this store. "What do you think my girl would like" I was reeling that already as the girl that mouthed " welcome to Victoria secret" approached me. I had my lines rehearsed as I walked into this flagship store, I also had a wonderful mannerism like someone that already knew all the crevices of this store. "What do you think my girl would like" I was reeling that already as the girl that mouthed " welcome to Victoria secret" approached me. "What size is your girl ?"..Oh shit!....I got that covered too. My plan was never to have a definite description. "Not too small, about medium or in between". " Do you know her Bra size? ...."I have been trying to reach her on the phone " I had said while holding the phone to my ears to an imaginary call. I had pointed at this mannequin that seemed like my girl in every feature, this mannequin even had a dimple in the back...double dimples "Venus dimples ..after the Roman goddess of beauty. Asides from being created by short ligaments between the superior Iliac spine and the skin, it was said to crack up sex life.

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The Egbu tree had been indicted, tried and sentenced to death by the youths of my village. A kangaroo court had been constituted by a majority of the youths that lived in the city, mostly by those that had a common denominator of dwindling fortunes to silence this wonderful but harmless relic. They had decided that it was in the best interest to ambush and deprive this baobab a fair trial and testament. They had all put their hands on a stamp to cut down this "elder". A crime that they touted was unforgivable, a crime that they claimed was worse than ever, a sacrilege they screamed and shouted was unfathomable.

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He had said to me " Uche, do you know why a lot of unwanted pregnancies happen in september?" I was already shaking my head in protest and disagreement when he had followed up with what had seemed like the reason " The act of making the september babies happen during the christmas period".

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