The Irish Spring dowry
My friend "Capo" had given me a lot to ponder a fortnight ago. We were having an interesting analysis of various happenings back home when he came up with a wild goose assertion that I have now deemed fit to beat around on.
He had said to me " Uche, do you know why a lot of unwanted pregnancies happen in September?" I was already shaking my head in protest and disagreement when he had followed up with what had seemed like the reason " The act of making the September babies happen during the Christmas period".
Christmas period was one of my favorite holidays in Nigeria, having overtaken my age long love for August meeting holidays when we all went to the village with our mothers. Our dads were left out of this trip which was the attraction for most of us as we enjoyed so many liberties and fewer regulations. We strayed past imaginary boundaries set by my dad on previous visits, stayed out way past seven pm in the football fields, ate in that other family's house that we had been previously banned from. August meetings were almost the best, it was a window on how it looked like living all by oneself. The mothers were gone in the morning for the meetings, leaving loose instructions with aunties and uncles on our upkeep and feeding. Loose instructions that didn't hold water once she was out of sight. We didn't have to worry about the sound of "daddy's car" or memorize bible verses or bookmarks to reel out as a show for a productive evening. None of that.
Christmas had sure overtaken this holiday as my favorite as I grew older. It was a period when all my uncles and cousins returned from afar and near, from abroad and overseas. A period that we all wore clothes that smelt "American". A smell that spread like wildfire anywhere you entered, a smell that had other people know that your uncle or aunt must have returned from overseas. We all had the "Irish spring smell". We did not have to say anything more to attract well wishers.
We were not the only ones that attracted well wishers, most of our cousins and uncles that returned from afar had become the toast of the community, they were the new kids on the block, they were all potential husbands and with an arsenal of "Irish springs", had converted our compound to some sort of mecca or pilgrimage.
Chidinma had just ridden past us as we parked near the entrance to the Nkwo Orodo market. We had ridden down there to get a proper network signal since my newly returned uncle needed to make an urgent call. Chidinma had disrupted this intention as my uncle who was at this point midway into a call had spurn around like one who was hit by a thunderbolt and said" Did you see that girl?, do you know where she is from?". I had not taken notice of any girl that rode past but my uncle was now pointing at a slender, light-skinned girl, hunched on top the men's version of bicycles, riding gracefully towards Amaukwu Orodo, a bothering town west of the market.
My uncle had quickly jumped into the white Peugeot wagon and had urged me to lay pursuit on the "escapee". I did not want to cause a scene so I had devised a way to follow this girl but from a distance. Whenever she stopped to felicitate with people, we did about the same . When she quickly moved past a corner, we gave her a few seconds and rammed on the gas to close ranks. After what seemed like a myriad of maneuverings, we had gotten lucky as she veered into a compound that my uncle claimed he had visited a long time ago. My uncle had a childhood friend that was from that same compound and this singular reason became our alibi for visiting, we had agreed on saying so if anyone had asked.
Chidinma's mother was on her way back from the farm as I drove into the compound. She had a big heap of firewood on her head and was trying hard to look into our car to see if she recognized anyone. She was still in this curious state when Chidinma had run out to help her lower the heap unto the floor. We immediately knew it was her mother as she had referred to her as "Nma". Chidinma's mum had gone on to bring out seats and a center table to serve us "kola". She had not even asked who we were looking for. She probably felt we were locals and as such deserve the complimentary welcome "kola" given to visitors. My uncle lacked tact. He would have gone around the bush and painted pictures but he had abruptly cut the felicitations and had introduced himself.
He had not used the generic lines " I saw a rabbit run into this house", "There is a beautiful flower that I just noticed in this house". " I live in Atlanta Georgia he had said as he adjusted his suspenders. The words sounded more like Atalanta, with a bit of a drawl. Then he had uttered the magic word 'America" .
Welcome, welcome, nno nu, unu abiala as she beamed with smiles, running in and out of their house in a heightened frenzy like she experienced an "Eve" moment, having realized the need for a change of clothing. She was excited to have us as visitors and had already started calling us "Ogo" inlaws. The deal was sealed even before we started. Chidinma had just turned Nineteen and had aspirations of becoming a teacher. She was at the verge of taking the entrance examinations into the teacher training school, the mum had told us and after a few more exchange of banters, my uncle had asked the mum's permission for her to visit. There was no objection at all. She had also assured us that if any obstacles arose by way of Chidinma's fathers’ refusal, she would be at hand to facilitate his change of mind.
A few days later, Chidinma had visited my uncle at the family house. A few bars of Irish spring soap and "I love the United States" Tee shirts a few hours later had sealed the deal. Chidinma was already sold on the idea of marriage. Chidinma was beclouded with all the promises of what America had to offer that she did not ask any questions.
Teddy drove around the village in a red drop top Chrysler Sebring wearing a durag. He was the only son of his parents and was touted to be looking for a wife. Teddy had been coming back to the village each year about the Christmas period with the same " I want a wife" stance. He appeared to have all it took to get married. These stellar qualities became the attraction that mothers looked out for their daughters. Young girls were brought to Teddy's family house for trials. No one had the inkling that teddy eked a living delivering letters in the United States. He lived quite a modest life out in America but lived a larger than life out here in Nigeria. Teddy spent about ten days each time he came home and painted the town red each time. The exchange rate did not help matters as a whole year saving on conversion turned to a pot of gold. This was quite evident in the number of cars teddy drove, evident in the number of lavish parties he threw, apparent in the monies he threw around. He was the perfect bachelor, having a lot of girls throwing themselves at him, trying to win his hand in marriage. One of the girls that had caught Teddy's admiration was for an unlikely reason. Teddy had taken her out to a beauty supply store and had given her an open hand to pick whatever she wanted. They had spent about twenty minutes in there when the girl had resigned in frustration of not knowing what to pick. Teddy had insisted she picked something. She had ended up picking a nail polish and by the end of the evening when teddy wanted her to try it on, he had realized the reason for the earlier frustration. Obioma did not know anything about beauty supplies. She had bungled an application, applying the polish way past the cuticles.
Obioma's naivety was the attraction. She was not like the other girls that teddy was used to. Her naivety and inexperience were for teddy's exploitation. A few Irish springs and a pair of oversize pajamas later, Obioma had assumed the wife position by default. She had been given no chance to ask questions. Clouds of goodies from America had covered her eyes.
Ugochi had a modest job as a seamstress in a local neighborhood shop in Owerri. She had been holding forth as the breadwinner for the family since her dad passed away. She had four younger siblings that were in different stages of dependency. One of them had just severed an agreement, having successfully served an auto spare parts trader and needed seed money to start up his own shop. She was introduced to some newly returned American based young man with "Jerry curls" and a "funny tongue". He was known as "am gonna" since he was always saying am gonna in place of I am going to. Ugochi was in a relationship at the time of introduction with an upcoming construction worker. The relationship held promising times for both of them. This totally changed as Pius ventured into Ugochi's life. The promise of good tidings was too good to ignore, the windfall of speculated dollars was hard to decline. The likelihood of becoming a better big sister to the younger ones was now within reach. Pius had not been home in ages but had a big house to show for all those years of sojourn. He had inscribed on his mansion "haven of peace" a sharp contrast to the shelter that he lived in New jersey America. The mansion had taken him twelve years to build and the monies he had been brandishing ever since he came back had been proceeds from the tax filings of that year and savings from his social security cheques.
A few bars of Irish spring soap and a couple of "goodwill" mugs had done it for Ugochi and had reinforced her decisions to shelve her relationship with her construction worker boyfriend for a potentially blossoming " Yankee"one.
Chidinma, Obioma and Ugochi had all gotten pregnant. They had all found out long after the "oversea guys" had gone. The pregnancies all bore its offspring in September, nine months after the deed had been done, paid in full by few bars of Irish spring.
It Matters Period, as a social responsibility vehicle, urges our girls to look before they leap and to look past the razzmatazz of the yuletide season. We will urge our girls to heed to a few of our thoughts.
“When one with honeyed words but evil mind, Persuades the mob, great woes befall the state.” Euripides, Orestes
Ask Questions : The right questions should start from knowing who these young men were. Asking necessary questions to ascertain the validity of the information given is a sure way to go. A girl once asked one of these guys a question that single-handedly saved her from the trouble that accrued from these newly returnees. The dude had told her that he was an airplane engineer that worked with Airbus and " "What do you do exactly for Airbus ?", "Since Nigeria does not build airplanes, how would your expertise benefit us assuming you had to relocate to Nigeria ? " was thrown at this guy, a torpedo that had him buckling at his knees. "This lady knew too much and asked too many questions" the guy had said.
Investments in self : We will keep encouraging our girls to keep investing in themselves as improved self-worth comes with improved respect. Education remains the sole key to achieving this. With heightened education, it would provide an expanded worldview on a series of fronts. It would aid in sieving the chaff from the pile. It would improve their self-confidence to channel the right questions and fuel the right aspirations. With continuous want to better oneself, premature marriage and unwanted pregnancies would be on the decline.
" A Liar is always lavish of oaths" Pierre Corneille
Reality checks : It is common knowledge that a lot of returnees during these holiday periods live larger than life. It is also common knowledge that the monies spent by most were a whole year or even more worth of savings. The reality checks will serve as reminders that all that glittered was not gold. It would serve as a yardstick for expectations. We urge each and every one of our girls to outlive this period of razzmatazz by taking each and every information or advances with a pinch of salt. Most of the returnees are on a mission to increase body counts and " I will marry you" seems to be the best line ever to garner a "yes".
"Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope" ..Aristotle
At It matters Period, we will continue to chaperone our girls in the right direction. We would serve as the beacon of hope, aiding them to make rightful and timely decisions as regards to life advancements. We would continuously make education a rallying point that will spearhead growth per informed choices. We would strive to become frontiers in shielding our girls from societal harm and exploits like unwanted pregnancies and girl child premature marriages. We will not stop until it stops.
It Matters. Period.
Uchenna Iwualla M.D