Association Of Death

I suspected a scam but then I had dropped right after. Insurance schemes had worn different garbs since time immemorial.

My aged mother, Juliana's past time and constant worry was now a repetitive cross-checking with the book-keepers in our Local St David church, of her upright standing as regards to dues accrued to her. Even the women leader and treasurer in my immediate clan are yet another torn I suppose in my aged mother's flesh of thoughts as a register is constantly ferried from Ndowuka's compound to ours to remind her of new additions in dues, a seemingly useless situation that perpetually leaves her in debt.

She reminds me each time " O wu ha ga-eli m" they are the ones to bury me. She also follows up with a few revelations "If I am owing, the priest and church will neither come to bury me nor give me the entitlements that I deserved", a pointer that is distressful to her even more so when a payment is pending. These distressed states are more frequent, now that her health is fast dwindling. "She rather paid all she owed while alive', she says, " I do not want you to suffer, paying a backlog of dues.

I suspected a scam but had dropped it. They would still come to her funeral. Why not? They would be there regardless. It is human nature to have a soft spot towards the dead. I suspect they would even demand coolers of rice and canopies for shade even if my mother owed. I suspect they would claim an association existed even in death.

I suspected a scam but dropped it.

I had figured that regardless of the benefit gotten only at death, the church members and my clan women all mean well, they visit and pray with her, providing companionship and reinforcement to buttress my mum's continuous need to be on their good books while she could. This righteousness would nevertheless establish her rightful passage and position in the after-life scheme of happenings albeit with a price-a constant invisible nag of a premium which surprisingly is the loose thread holding the love and loyalty from church and family-one she cannot even cash out unless she perishes- a finality of life.

I also suspect that my aged father might suffer the same fate, in a vintage position to receive numerous cows from friends and family, a payout from years of association and seeming friendships who had not paid attention in recent years that the poor old man now detests beef. The earlier years that he did, he probably would have enjoyed the torso or the loins but unfortunately, these payouts come only when dead. He would have to wait.

Now, that he prefers fish and snails, I am also guessing he would not get it from same friends and associations while alive- who would all stick to delivery of cows at his funeral, as a befitting and worthwhile payout- a payout expected only at death...a finality of life.

Life had just turned a full circle, I now have found myself in an association that I hoped will not be that which the cash-out was only at death. I had just reviewed my association's life insurance policy for the umpteenth time and have come to realize the finality of life. I had painstakingly searched this document to see if there were provisions to cash out while alive, but my association had stuck to the conventional fine lines of membership on this one.

I love anti-conventional stances. I am one that would want a change. This one really hit me below the belt.

This reality of life-death had been made possible by my friend Ken, who was the custodian of the association's insurance scheme. He had made it a point to walk me through the documentation that would seal my faith, making sure the percentages of who got what and when was all correct. Death was sure at this point. My friend was sure of this, he had cross-checked form for mistakes. Regardless of who went first, my recipients would get a share of my loyalty premiums upon my demise-a finality of life.

This was probably what my father had been drumming into my ears ever since I moved to the United States. "Enyinnaya, one cannot be an island, find our people, join an association, enweghi onye ma-echi...no one knows tomorrow" His concern relying mostly on slim probabilities of mishaps that might befall me in this faraway land. An unspoken concern about my dead body never to be allowed to be buried in this faraway land.

He had reminded me of the phone call I got shortly after I had finished some observer-ship in Chicago. This was a clarion call for all the well-meaning people from Orodo to come to the aid of one of our sons who had frozen to death in one of the mid-western states. He had died in the arms of a gaping winter, found by bystanders, way after his soul had yearned for the heat that never came. Few minutes into the call, I had learned of a very robust committee of friends whose mandate was to make sure that his body was ferried safely to Nigeria. They were also already planning a wake keep to celebrate his life while on earth. The welfare of the kids and wife were already on the table, we were already at the top of things. Names and acquaintances were been demanded to include all and sundry in plans. A plethora of human love kick-started only at his death.

This was a man who could not cash out any of these loves from Family nor association, this was a man who would have benefited from a slight change of hands from friends, here laid a man whose condition that led to death had been none of our business till this mishap but there we were, planning for a befitting funeral... a finality of life.

Little did my father know that the families and associations he had encouraged me to join will not cater to my immediate needs if it came to that, they would see me go hungry if need be, they would go on forever without knowing if I have had shelter nor good health, worse off if I were not a premium paying one nor stood in high standards per dues accrued, my case would be discarded into an abyss and waited upon till I eventually fell into the mishap my father had feared the most. Only then would the unmistakable human love that shined most at one's death surface.

Little did my dad know that families here and associations would choose to belong to a well-orchestrated and oiled committee of friends that guaranteed a high premium payout than being associated with my struggles nor gain that significantly had no rewards.

Little did my father know that the more associations you belong to now, with all expenses and premiums paid, determined the love you get assuming a cash-out was needed.

Little did my dad know that I was almost resigned to fate, looking for the best ways to cash out on friendships while alive.

I suspect that a lot of people have started thinking in these directions albeit to say, yet with another price.

Jollof rice, pounded yam, assorted meat, small chops, Xyz banquet hall, Dj Pompidou or whomever, a plethora of Ashebis and yet, many more committee of friends are the new prices for a cash-out. Remove this from any announcement of a win, be it a graduation, a birthday, a promotion, a retirement party, celebration of life, thanksgiving of any sort, and you would realize a thin cohesive lining of the fabric of friends and associations.

People now milk associations and friendships by throwing parties amidst pomp and pageantry and more so, cash out from mandated obligations of members, recouping money and well wishes with a renewed spirit to live longer to do more.

The same beings that cannot afford all these pomp and pageantry, that do not have a lot of associations to support a celebration, now understand the true loneliness of belonging in a community that is all laden with associations of death, they would now have no other option than to invest in fear of not cashing out at all even in death. The very best they can do was to find one, join, and make do with all the trappings once he perished.

I know this..... the policy handed to me by my friend Ken, assures me that my dependents would get some money a few weeks after my demise. Ken did not say a lot about Jollof rice and others but I suspect we both know that it would surely be there.

It matters period is a social enterprise geared towards meaningful engagements in societies, we are of the notion that friendship and associations should be all-encompassing, making sure that associations of friendship cuts across the board. We want a society that meaningfully looks at its wards and makes plans and accommodations to carry them along, looking inwards to the welfare of everyone, celebrating wins regardless, sharing elements of failures, propelling those beams of love while they are alive knowing that regardless, a finality of life beckons-death.

Uchenna Iwualla M.D

It Matters Period